Crisp Review

Blair’s - Death Rain Habanero

Time for something special this week… Blair’s Death Rain Habanero. I’m aware of the Blair’s brand - he produces some mighty delicious hot sauces - and these crisps, but I was a little surprised to see them in a pub this week. Whilst I was busy working out whether crisps or beer represented best value for money my friend bought a bag. So, without further ado, let’s get to the review.

Let’s start with the packaging for this one. Look at it. I don’t think there’s anything I need to say. Upon spying this bag, I knew I was in for a treat.

The ingredients are “Select potatoes, peanut oil, dehydrated cane juice, salt, paprika, garlic powder, spices, natural smoke flavour (less than 2% silicon dioxide), and soybean oil”. There we are again, “select potatoes”. Why do so many packets say this on them? How would potatoes get into the manufacturing process if they weren’t being selected? It’s beginning to irritate me some what.

But more bizarrely than selected potatoes, silicon dioxide. Whilst I didn’t know what that was off the bat, the internet tells me it’s basically sand. I’m not sure how I feel about that one. Any way, whilst the ingredients indicate otherwise, the flavouring in the bag seems to look like little more than sugar and chilli powder. No sign of sand here…

Talking of flavouring, flippin’ ‘eck! These things are spicy.

Spicy, spicy, spicy.

I think we shared a small bag between 6, and were all perfectly satisfied with our relatively meagre portions. Sure, they’re spicy, but beneath the phenomenal heat lies a fantastic sweet, smokey, and very moreish flavour. And with mouth ablaze I was compelled to shovel crisp after crisp in; and in return I was granted the endorphin rush chilli lovers seem to crave.

The crisps are of a pretty good standard too. Nice and crunchy, and dark with flavouring. As with Kettle Chips the flavouring comes off on your hands, which means you get a nice burst of heat and flavour if you decide to lick them.

Crunch: 8/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 10/10
- Accuracy: 8/10
Quality: 9/10
Packaging: 9/10 (Just a little bit ridiculous, and almost wonderfully no nonsense, but I’m still bitter about the selected potatoes…)

An absolutely marvellous bag of crisps that you should try as soon as you can. And if you’re thinking “but I don’t like spicy food”, then get some, and learn to like it. Probably the best packet of crisps I’ve had since I started this blog.

Greggs - Salt and Vinegar

I seems the veritable pasty retailer has ventured into the potato snack industry, or, at least, is getting someone to make them branded crisps. And that, my friends, is a good thing. In fact, more crisps is always good thing.

There’s little of note in the ingredients, just your standard “Potatoes, Sunflower Oil, Salt and Vinegar flavouring” combo; though the “Salt and Vinegar flavouring” doesn’t contain any vinegar.

And the lack of vinegar is pretty evident when the crisps meet your mouth. There’s a definite acidic note, but it’s not vinegar. And there isn’t much salt, either. In fact, they’re quite an unbalanced packet of crisps, nothing like the stalwarts of old… I wouldn’t go so far as to describe them as ‘bad’, they’ve got something going for them, but I they wouldn’t be my first choice for a bag of Salt and Vinegar.

The whole experience reminds me of Golden Wonder crisps, but there’s no mention of the provenance on the back. Regardless, I’d hedge a bet that Golden Wonder do have a hand in this.

What the pack of the pack does declare, however, is that “These crisps are made from specially selected potatoes, cooked in sunflower oil.”. I wonder how these lucky potatoes are selected? I doubt there’s an X-Factor style contest, but a man can dream…

The rest of the packaging is quite nice, very Greggsy. And the pack has a sort of wax paper feel to it; nothing as nice as the Red Sky crisps I reviewed earlier, but more pleasant than your normal plastic / foil get up.

Beyond that, there’s little more to say, so I might as well get to the numbers.

Crunch: 6/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 5/10
- Accuracy: 5/10
Quality: 7/10
Packaging: 7/10

If you’re at Greggs, give them a go. But I wouldn’t hunt them out unless you can deal with a little disappointment.

Sainsbury’s - Salt & Vinegar Crunch Sticks

I’ve not yet reviewed any ‘own brand’ crisps, but there’s nothing too surprising about that. As with last week, these aren’t crisps in the strictest sense, but tasty none the less. Anyway, enough rambling, here we are…

PICTURE FORTHCOMING

The packet now declares “Improved Recipe”, and the crisps include “Maize; Dried Potato; High Oleic Sunflower Oil; Salt and Vinegar Flavouring; Salt”. They used to contain milk powder, but don’t any more, rectifying the strange situation whereby their bacon flavoured crisps were vegan but their salt and vinegar ones were not.

What we’re looking are, basically, Chipsticks. For those who are unaware of Chipsticks, shame on you they’re crunchy sticks of maize produced by Walkers. But these are made for Sainsbury’s, and aren’t called Chipsticks. Clear? Good.

The crisps are lovely and crunchy, and the salt and vinegar flavour is bang on. Nice and strong, and ever so slightly acidic. They also leave a coating in the mouth, of little bits of crisp and oil, but it’s pleasant, rather than off putting. And some of the flavouring comes off on your fingers, which makes for a lovely treat.

Definitely a nice change from your standard potato crisp.

The packaging in unoffensive, and follows the blue = salt and vinegar colour scheme - contrary to walkers aberration of blue = cheese and onion - which gains them points in my book. It’s also got the little traffic light nutrition info, which I don’t really like, that might be a plus for some.

They also come in rather large 140g packs which I find difficult to stop eating once I’ve started. I can’t work out whether this is a good or bad thing.

Here are the numbers…

Crunch: 8/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 8/10
- Accuracy: 8/10 
Quality: 8/10 (Uniform, with few crumbs.)
Packaging: 7/10

All in all, a good snack.

Golden Wonder - Tangy Toms

More ‘untraditional’ goodness from Golden Wonder, in the shape of Tangy Toms. There’s little to say by way of introduction this week, so I’ll just dive straight in…

I think I’ll start with the ingredients here; Maize, Vegetable Oil and Tomato Flavouring. That’s Maize, not Potato, so we’ve not got a crisp here really, have we? Not that it matters, they’re sold alongside the crisps, which is good enough for me.

These Tangy Toms are little puffed balls of maize, with a pretty interesting texture. They’re crunchy, but then dissolve into all but nothingness, leaving a chewy residue behind. Pleasant enough, but nothing too fantastic.

The taste was pretty good, however! Sweet, but tangy; more similar to Tomato Ketchup than any tomato I’ve ever had. And they’re a rather moreish snack, no doubt the result of initial strong flavour.

The packing is mildly amusing, no idea why the Tomato on the front looks so angry. Unless, of course, he’s a representation of a Tangy Tom. If that’s the case he doesn’t look angry enough… And there are no wild claims here, just useful nutritional information on the back.

Crunch: 6/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 8/10
- Accuracy: 4/10 (Not really tomato)
Quality: 8/10 (Very uniform, but not exceptional)
Packaging: 7/10

All in all, a very middle of the road snack, but they’re definitely nice enough for the price. And it feels good to venture out of the Walkers ghetto every once in a while.

Samuel Smith’s - Cheese and Onion

A nice bag of crisps for you this week, in Sam Smith’s Cheese and Onion. Samuel Smiths is a lovely chain of pubs, serving cheap beer and good food, with an express policy of not serving or supplying branded goods. But, as with so many crisps, they’re made by Walkers (edit; this might not be true, I remember being told it a few years ago, and Wikipedia agrees with me, but there’s no source for the information)… I really need to broaden my horizons!

(Apologies for the poor quality of the photo, I took it the other day and appear to have mislaid the pack since)

So, the ingredients are Potatoes, Sunflower Oil, and Cheese and Onion Flavouring which contains, amongst other ingredients, Black Pepper and Paprika extract. Quite unusual ingredients, don’t you think? But they definitely add a certain something.

The crisps are pretty standards walkers thickness, but the pack I had had flecks of skin around the edges, which was a nice touch.  So we’ve got a decent amount of crunch going on, coupled with that lovely amount of grease that Walkers’ Cheese and Onion crisps usually have. The flavour is pretty good enhanced, no doubt, by the Paprika and Black Pepper extracts.

We have, then, something approaching the perfect pub crisp here, good flavour, good crunch, and good texture.

And the packaging is pretty interesting. It’s in keeping with the decor of Sam Smiths pubs, plain and a little old fashioned. The pack also informs us of the variety of crisps used, which is pretty rare!

Crunch: 6/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 7/10
- Accuracy: 7/10
Quality: 8/10
Packaging: 6/10

Nice enough crisps, and as I love their beer they’ve certainly got a captive audience.

Smiths - Cheese Flavoured Moments

I was planning to review Smith’s Scampi Fries this week, but I had an experience on Wednesday which left me emotionally scarred and morally undermined. Before we progress, let’s note that Smiths are a Walkers product, not because it’s relevant to anything that follows, but because it’s nice to know.

Whilst carbonating crisps was an act of genius, filling a cereal shell with a cheese approximate was, perhaps, the biggest mistake ever made in the field of savoury snacks. Perhaps the fact they’re ‘cheese flavoured’ should have alerted me to the horrors that awaited.

Upon opening the packet I was met with an interesting smell, not wholly appealing, but not enough to put me off starting this  fateful journey.But when the first moment - to call them a crisp would be to sully the good name of crisps the world over - met my teeth it all went down hill…

The cereal shell was soft and chewy, but I could tell this wasn’t intentional. The ‘cheese’ flavoured filling was soft, yet paradoxically textureless. And the taste was all but non-existent. There was a hint of old sock that began to pervade as the pack went on, but it wasn’t strong enough to be a distinct and intended flavour.

They were, in a word, disgusting.

Then I looked at the ingredients list. “Vegetable Fat, Cheese Filling, Wheatbran, Wheat Rusk, Onion Flavour Flavouring, Whey Powder, Yeast Extract and Rennet (in the Whey powder)”. That’s right, Rennet, from an animal source. If I’d unwittingly compromised my dietary habits for a delicious snack I would have been annoyed with myself, but this discovery only compounded my disappointment with this foul snack.

After the unquantifiable success of the Roysters last week, I really messed up with this choice.

Crunch: 0/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 1/10
- Accuracy: 0/10 (Certainly not cheese.)
Quality: -/10 (I’m not sure what to say here, if they were meant to be like this then it’s a 10, but I can’t give them such a mark in good faith)
Packaging: 8/10 (Actually quite attractive, in a 70’s retro kind of way)

The only saving grace was the fact that these come in a 28g pack. Avoid at all costs.

Royster’s - T-Bone Steak

Royster’s Crisps are a Golden Wonder product, and one that I’ve seen from time to time but never had. It seems I’ve been missing out on something quite fantastic.

So, the ingredients. We’ve got Dried Potato, Sunflower Oil, and Steak Flavour (with a wide range of constituent ingredients, including MSG). Dried Potato is a first for me - that is to say I’ve not noticed it on an ingredients list before - but I suppose it’s necessary for the interesting texture and shape of the crisps, which is, ultimately, what these are are all about.

They’re bubbled.

For god’s sake, someone’s managed to carbonate crisps. And it was an absolute stroke of genius. These are completely unique in terms of texture, not crinkle cut, not flat, and not like any crisps I’ve had before… The bubbles create a large surface area for the flavour to adhere to, and provide a nice level of crunch. Once the bubbles have broken - with a satisfying crunch - the crisps become sort of chewy and get in between your teeth in a strangely satisfying manner.

The flavour is pretty good, savoury, but with a hint of sweetness that just adds to the whole experience. It’s one dimensional, and far from exceptional, but the bubbled crisps really carry the whole thing.

The branding smacks of Americana, which is an obvious choice. Come one, who else but the Americans would carbonate crisps with a straight face? I mean, they’ve fried Cola, for crying out loud. And who else would flavour them with T-Bone steak? Sure, it’s all a little tacky, but it’s nice enough.

Numbers, Numbers, Numbers…

Crunch: 10/10 (These are unique)
Flavour
- Intensity: 7/10
- Accuracy: -/10 (As with the Bacon flavour earlier, I can’t comment on this with authority)
Quality: 6/10 (Lots of crumbs at the end of the packet, and some dramatic inconsistency in size)
Packaging: 8/10

Buy them. Buy them now.

Kettle Chips - Sea Salt and Balsamic Vinegar

More ‘premium’ crisps this week. The Kettle Foods company has been around since 1978 and Kettle Chip are, for me, the original premium crisp; or rather, the first premium crisp to make it big in the UK. They’re now a ubiquitous brand and hold a large market share here in the UK.

But without further ado, let’s get on with the review…

These crisps claim to be hand-cooked, but I’m wary of how ‘hand-cooked’ they are because of the huge quantities produced. It can’t be an out and out lie, perhaps staff just transfer the chipped chips into the oven by hand? In fact, when I think about it, how on earth can anything ever be hand cooked? Surely most things are oven-cooked?

Anyway, the ingredients list is pleasingly simple with ‘Potatoes, Sunflower Oil and Sea Salt and Balsamic Vinegar Seasoning.  The ‘Sea Salt and Balsamic Vinegar Flavouring’ does contain malt vinegar, however, which is a little bit disappointing… but that’s just me being picky.

The packing has a similar ‘waxy’ feel to the Red Sky crisps I reviewed a couple of weeks ago, but is more plasticky, and not as pleasing over all. The branding is beautifully simple though, and the picture of crisps on the back is welcome… they’re a pretty fair representation of what you’re in for.

The real magic begins when you open the packet. The crisps are lovely and thick, having a pleasing dark tinge to them, and size and quality is pretty standard throughout the bag. They’re also some of the crunchiest crisps I’ve ever had and are loaded with flavour. The vinegar is tangy and the salt is evidently there. The intensity makes them ever so moreish, too, which is a good thing for Kettle Foods.

The most perversely pleasing thing about these, however, is the way the flavouring sticks to your fingers; creating in a thick, salty, greasy flavourful film on any finger tip which comes into with a crisp.

I feel some quantification is in order…

Crunch: 9/10 (We’re getting close to perfection, here.)
Flavour
- Intensity: 7/10
- Accuracy: 8/10 
Quality: 9/10
Packaging: 8/10

These crisps, then, are pretty darn delicious. And whilst the intensity makes them good for a treat, they’re not something I’d indulge in too regularly, lest they loose their magic.

Walker’s - Cheese and Onion

After a couple of obscure numbers, I think it’s about time for another classic…

These are, probably, the quintessential cheese and onion crisp. And a bench mark which I can’t help comparing all other offerings to. Whilst they’re not as delicious as the Tayto offering I reviewed earlier, they’re an absolute classic.

The subtle creaminess of the cheese, and the tang of the onion combine to give the impression of a medium strength cheddar. There’s also a little fruitiness, which hints at onion, but isn’t distinct enough to be identified as such. And this fine flavour is carried on a slightly oily, almost greasy, crisp which compliments the taste wonderfully and doesn’t dull the crunch.

These are exactly what I had in mind when I referred to a ‘cheese and onion’ flavour in my Tayto review. There’s no clear onion, but it contributes to the over all flavour nicely.

Turning to the numbers, then…

Crunch: 6/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 6/10
- Accuracy: 8/10 (‘Cheese and Onion’ rather than ‘Cheese’ and ‘Onion’.)
Quality: 7/10
Packaging: 7/10

Stripping away the pretentious nonsense I’d say, overall, these are a bloody good packet of Cheese and Onion crisps.

Red Sky - West Country Bacon & Cream Cheese

Red Sky crisps are Walkers response to crisps such as Kettle Crisps and Burts. But there’s nothing on the packet to indicate the provenance of the brand, either an attempt to truly distinguish these crisps, or an underhand marketing ploy. I’m not sure, and I’m not sure it really matters…

These crisps claim to be “made with 100% natural seasonings”, and the ingredient list reflects this. Made with “British Potatoes, Sunflower Oil, Sea Salt … Dried Cream Cheese, Dried Yoghurt” and a mysterious “Natural Flavouring” these crisps are suitable for vegetarians, which is always a bonus (being a vegetablist myself).

The packaging is nice. The bag feels like waxed paper, and though the inside is lined, it feels a lot nicer than traditional crisp packaging. I’m also a fan of the branding, it’s understated but distinctive. From the outside, then, these definitely look like a ‘premium’ crisps, and a worthwhile competitor to Kettle Chips, et al. They also come in 150g share size bags.

Upon opening the pack, we’re met with crisps of varying size, and a very satisfactory thickness. They’ve got a good solid crunch to them, and seem less greasy than many other crisps I’ve had. Another +1 on the ‘Premium’ front. Nothing soggy or overly cloying here.

However, in terms of taste, there is but one word…

Artificial bacon is artificial bacon, is artificial bacon, is artificial bacon… But they’re mighty tasty! And I might be being a little unfair, the cream cheese certainly adds something, but it doesn’t take away the dominant Frazzle-esque note.

Crunch: 8/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 7/10 (Strong, but not overly so)
- Accuracy: -/10 (Having forgotten what bacon tastes like, I can’t really make an honest assessment here)
Quality: 9/10
Packaging: 9/10

All in all, then, a very satisfying packet of crisps, and a nice change of pace from your more traditional bag. And this is reflected in both the price and packaging size (share size bags are pretty much the modus operandi of this type of crisp).