Crisp Review

Smith’s - Scampi Fries

My oh my, what a treat this week. Another Walkers product, sure, but something a little different, and pretty damn tasty…

Let’s start, as we almost always do, with the ingredients. (I’m may have to come up with a new format for the new year, this approach is starting to get tedious, even by my standards.) They contain Wheatflour, Vegetable Oil, Maize, and all manner of flavourings and sundry ingredients including, but not limited to, MSG, Paprika, Soya Grits, and Salt.

I must say, they’re quite an unusual snack in many respects…

The unusual experience begins upon opening the pack. To put it mildly, a rather pungent aroma escapes and pollutes the immediate environment. They are, by and far, the smelliest snacks I’ve had the pleasure of reviewing. In fact, a word of warning is in order, the pungency of these crisps may not be appreciated by your significant other. The response is not dissimilar to that exhibited by vampires when confronted with garlic. But let that not put you off.

The texture is splendid. Very, very crunchy. The best way to describe these is a small maize parcel. And they’ve got a very strong taste - a little citric, and a little fishy - but they’re most delicious and very moreish. Which brings us to their main downfall… they come in pitifully small packets.

Whilst the size of the pack was the saving grace for Smith’s Cheese Flavoured Moments I enjoy the Scampi Fries far too much for 28g to be enough.

Let’s get to the numbers:

Crunch: 9/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 9/10
- Accuracy: 6/10
Quality: 8/10
Packaging: 8/10

These crisps are, as I have said, unusual. And they are certainly not for people of a weak disposition. But they’re fantastic. And you should certainly buy some.

Smiths - Cheese Flavoured Moments

I was planning to review Smith’s Scampi Fries this week, but I had an experience on Wednesday which left me emotionally scarred and morally undermined. Before we progress, let’s note that Smiths are a Walkers product, not because it’s relevant to anything that follows, but because it’s nice to know.

Whilst carbonating crisps was an act of genius, filling a cereal shell with a cheese approximate was, perhaps, the biggest mistake ever made in the field of savoury snacks. Perhaps the fact they’re ‘cheese flavoured’ should have alerted me to the horrors that awaited.

Upon opening the packet I was met with an interesting smell, not wholly appealing, but not enough to put me off starting this  fateful journey.But when the first moment - to call them a crisp would be to sully the good name of crisps the world over - met my teeth it all went down hill…

The cereal shell was soft and chewy, but I could tell this wasn’t intentional. The ‘cheese’ flavoured filling was soft, yet paradoxically textureless. And the taste was all but non-existent. There was a hint of old sock that began to pervade as the pack went on, but it wasn’t strong enough to be a distinct and intended flavour.

They were, in a word, disgusting.

Then I looked at the ingredients list. “Vegetable Fat, Cheese Filling, Wheatbran, Wheat Rusk, Onion Flavour Flavouring, Whey Powder, Yeast Extract and Rennet (in the Whey powder)”. That’s right, Rennet, from an animal source. If I’d unwittingly compromised my dietary habits for a delicious snack I would have been annoyed with myself, but this discovery only compounded my disappointment with this foul snack.

After the unquantifiable success of the Roysters last week, I really messed up with this choice.

Crunch: 0/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 1/10
- Accuracy: 0/10 (Certainly not cheese.)
Quality: -/10 (I’m not sure what to say here, if they were meant to be like this then it’s a 10, but I can’t give them such a mark in good faith)
Packaging: 8/10 (Actually quite attractive, in a 70’s retro kind of way)

The only saving grace was the fact that these come in a 28g pack. Avoid at all costs.