Crisp Review

Walkers - Dairy Flavoured Potato Chips

NOTE: I received these crisps free of charge. My review is not biased by this fact. The crisps are (and will) be judged solely on their merits, as always.

This is the final part of a three part series, the first of which is available here, the second here. It deals with the dairy flavour which I was most curious about, because ‘dairy’ is so nondescript. Egg? Cheese? Milk? Omlette?

These are cheese, of some sort. I think it’s cream cheese, but, by the same token, they might be sour cream, because there’s a definite chive note going on underneath the dominant creamy taste. They’re more ambiguous than the ‘spicy’ crisps, but far less confusing than the ‘meaty’ ones. They’re creamy, with a hint of fresh herbs, bolstered by the greasy note that seems to dominate the entire range I’ve tried.

The crisps are pale, and have specks of green on them. They look, to be fair, a little anaemic. But don’t let that put you off!

They’d be a welcome part of the regular Walkers line up, because they taste like a slightly more subtle and refined cheese and onion number. Sure, cheese and onion are great, but they’re a little in your face sometimes. The flavour for these doesn’t linger much, which makes them moreish, but they don’t interfere too much with the flavour of whatever else you might be consuming at the time.

Unfortunately, there’s little more to say about these. They’re probably my favourite of the bunch, and I could eat a lot of them, but they’re not complex enough to wax lyrical about

Crunch: 8/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 8/10 
- Accuracy: -/10 (Not sure what they’re meant to be, but they’re tasty!)
Quality: 8/10
Packaging: 0/10 (White with question marks, I’d like to see the final packaging when they’re released.)

Turns out you will be able to get your hands on these, for a short period of time. They’re part of Walkers’ what’s that flavour campaign where a correct answer could win you £50,000.

Walker’s - Meaty Flavour Potato Crisps

NOTE: I received these crisps free of charge. My review is not biased by this fact. The crisps are (and will) be judged solely on their merits, as always.

This is the first in a three part series of reviews, dealing with the mysterious (and as yet, unreleased) crisps sent to me by Walkers. Firstly, let me extend thanks to Walkers, and the one (also) known as Sam who I think decided I should receive these crisps. These reviews are probably going to be a bit longer than my usual reviews, because I’m quite excited by the whole experience, and it seems only fair to give other people who can’t get hold of them yet as much information as possible.

The first of these reviews then, deals with the “Meaty Flavoured” crisps. The second and third will deal with “Spicy Flavour” and “Dairy Flavour”. The vagueness of the names and the blandness of the packaging has provided an interesting challenge, it seems we take a lot of cues from the packaging when we decide what it is we’re actually tasting….

Anyway, enough introductory spiel, let’s get to the review.

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Something arrived today…

Smith’s - Scampi Fries

My oh my, what a treat this week. Another Walkers product, sure, but something a little different, and pretty damn tasty…

Let’s start, as we almost always do, with the ingredients. (I’m may have to come up with a new format for the new year, this approach is starting to get tedious, even by my standards.) They contain Wheatflour, Vegetable Oil, Maize, and all manner of flavourings and sundry ingredients including, but not limited to, MSG, Paprika, Soya Grits, and Salt.

I must say, they’re quite an unusual snack in many respects…

The unusual experience begins upon opening the pack. To put it mildly, a rather pungent aroma escapes and pollutes the immediate environment. They are, by and far, the smelliest snacks I’ve had the pleasure of reviewing. In fact, a word of warning is in order, the pungency of these crisps may not be appreciated by your significant other. The response is not dissimilar to that exhibited by vampires when confronted with garlic. But let that not put you off.

The texture is splendid. Very, very crunchy. The best way to describe these is a small maize parcel. And they’ve got a very strong taste - a little citric, and a little fishy - but they’re most delicious and very moreish. Which brings us to their main downfall… they come in pitifully small packets.

Whilst the size of the pack was the saving grace for Smith’s Cheese Flavoured Moments I enjoy the Scampi Fries far too much for 28g to be enough.

Let’s get to the numbers:

Crunch: 9/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 9/10
- Accuracy: 6/10
Quality: 8/10
Packaging: 8/10

These crisps are, as I have said, unusual. And they are certainly not for people of a weak disposition. But they’re fantastic. And you should certainly buy some.

Samuel Smith’s - Cheese and Onion

A nice bag of crisps for you this week, in Sam Smith’s Cheese and Onion. Samuel Smiths is a lovely chain of pubs, serving cheap beer and good food, with an express policy of not serving or supplying branded goods. But, as with so many crisps, they’re made by Walkers (edit; this might not be true, I remember being told it a few years ago, and Wikipedia agrees with me, but there’s no source for the information)… I really need to broaden my horizons!

(Apologies for the poor quality of the photo, I took it the other day and appear to have mislaid the pack since)

So, the ingredients are Potatoes, Sunflower Oil, and Cheese and Onion Flavouring which contains, amongst other ingredients, Black Pepper and Paprika extract. Quite unusual ingredients, don’t you think? But they definitely add a certain something.

The crisps are pretty standards walkers thickness, but the pack I had had flecks of skin around the edges, which was a nice touch.  So we’ve got a decent amount of crunch going on, coupled with that lovely amount of grease that Walkers’ Cheese and Onion crisps usually have. The flavour is pretty good enhanced, no doubt, by the Paprika and Black Pepper extracts.

We have, then, something approaching the perfect pub crisp here, good flavour, good crunch, and good texture.

And the packaging is pretty interesting. It’s in keeping with the decor of Sam Smiths pubs, plain and a little old fashioned. The pack also informs us of the variety of crisps used, which is pretty rare!

Crunch: 6/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 7/10
- Accuracy: 7/10
Quality: 8/10
Packaging: 6/10

Nice enough crisps, and as I love their beer they’ve certainly got a captive audience.

Smiths - Cheese Flavoured Moments

I was planning to review Smith’s Scampi Fries this week, but I had an experience on Wednesday which left me emotionally scarred and morally undermined. Before we progress, let’s note that Smiths are a Walkers product, not because it’s relevant to anything that follows, but because it’s nice to know.

Whilst carbonating crisps was an act of genius, filling a cereal shell with a cheese approximate was, perhaps, the biggest mistake ever made in the field of savoury snacks. Perhaps the fact they’re ‘cheese flavoured’ should have alerted me to the horrors that awaited.

Upon opening the packet I was met with an interesting smell, not wholly appealing, but not enough to put me off starting this  fateful journey.But when the first moment - to call them a crisp would be to sully the good name of crisps the world over - met my teeth it all went down hill…

The cereal shell was soft and chewy, but I could tell this wasn’t intentional. The ‘cheese’ flavoured filling was soft, yet paradoxically textureless. And the taste was all but non-existent. There was a hint of old sock that began to pervade as the pack went on, but it wasn’t strong enough to be a distinct and intended flavour.

They were, in a word, disgusting.

Then I looked at the ingredients list. “Vegetable Fat, Cheese Filling, Wheatbran, Wheat Rusk, Onion Flavour Flavouring, Whey Powder, Yeast Extract and Rennet (in the Whey powder)”. That’s right, Rennet, from an animal source. If I’d unwittingly compromised my dietary habits for a delicious snack I would have been annoyed with myself, but this discovery only compounded my disappointment with this foul snack.

After the unquantifiable success of the Roysters last week, I really messed up with this choice.

Crunch: 0/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 1/10
- Accuracy: 0/10 (Certainly not cheese.)
Quality: -/10 (I’m not sure what to say here, if they were meant to be like this then it’s a 10, but I can’t give them such a mark in good faith)
Packaging: 8/10 (Actually quite attractive, in a 70’s retro kind of way)

The only saving grace was the fact that these come in a 28g pack. Avoid at all costs.

Walker’s - Cheese and Onion

After a couple of obscure numbers, I think it’s about time for another classic…

These are, probably, the quintessential cheese and onion crisp. And a bench mark which I can’t help comparing all other offerings to. Whilst they’re not as delicious as the Tayto offering I reviewed earlier, they’re an absolute classic.

The subtle creaminess of the cheese, and the tang of the onion combine to give the impression of a medium strength cheddar. There’s also a little fruitiness, which hints at onion, but isn’t distinct enough to be identified as such. And this fine flavour is carried on a slightly oily, almost greasy, crisp which compliments the taste wonderfully and doesn’t dull the crunch.

These are exactly what I had in mind when I referred to a ‘cheese and onion’ flavour in my Tayto review. There’s no clear onion, but it contributes to the over all flavour nicely.

Turning to the numbers, then…

Crunch: 6/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 6/10
- Accuracy: 8/10 (‘Cheese and Onion’ rather than ‘Cheese’ and ‘Onion’.)
Quality: 7/10
Packaging: 7/10

Stripping away the pretentious nonsense I’d say, overall, these are a bloody good packet of Cheese and Onion crisps.

Red Sky - West Country Bacon & Cream Cheese

Red Sky crisps are Walkers response to crisps such as Kettle Crisps and Burts. But there’s nothing on the packet to indicate the provenance of the brand, either an attempt to truly distinguish these crisps, or an underhand marketing ploy. I’m not sure, and I’m not sure it really matters…

These crisps claim to be “made with 100% natural seasonings”, and the ingredient list reflects this. Made with “British Potatoes, Sunflower Oil, Sea Salt … Dried Cream Cheese, Dried Yoghurt” and a mysterious “Natural Flavouring” these crisps are suitable for vegetarians, which is always a bonus (being a vegetablist myself).

The packaging is nice. The bag feels like waxed paper, and though the inside is lined, it feels a lot nicer than traditional crisp packaging. I’m also a fan of the branding, it’s understated but distinctive. From the outside, then, these definitely look like a ‘premium’ crisps, and a worthwhile competitor to Kettle Chips, et al. They also come in 150g share size bags.

Upon opening the pack, we’re met with crisps of varying size, and a very satisfactory thickness. They’ve got a good solid crunch to them, and seem less greasy than many other crisps I’ve had. Another +1 on the ‘Premium’ front. Nothing soggy or overly cloying here.

However, in terms of taste, there is but one word…

Artificial bacon is artificial bacon, is artificial bacon, is artificial bacon… But they’re mighty tasty! And I might be being a little unfair, the cream cheese certainly adds something, but it doesn’t take away the dominant Frazzle-esque note.

Crunch: 8/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 7/10 (Strong, but not overly so)
- Accuracy: -/10 (Having forgotten what bacon tastes like, I can’t really make an honest assessment here)
Quality: 9/10
Packaging: 9/10

All in all, then, a very satisfying packet of crisps, and a nice change of pace from your more traditional bag. And this is reflected in both the price and packaging size (share size bags are pretty much the modus operandi of this type of crisp).

Walkers - Ready Salted

What would be better, for a first review, than a stalwart crisp? A crisp that everyone is likely to have eaten? The answer: Nothing. So here we go, let’s kick things off with a packet of Walkers Ready Salted.

According to Walkers, “11 million people will eat a Walkers product every day” and they are probably the most well known crisp brand in the UK. The logo can be seen around the world on packets of Lays crisps as Walkers is, after all, a  Frito-Lay product, and subsidiary of PepsiCo.

So, Ready Salted, what can I say?

I guess some introductory notes would be welcome. Standard packets are 25g and as with all standard Walkers, Ready Salted are made with SunSeed oil, a low saturate Sunflower oil. Ready salted crisps also only have 3 ingredients: Potatoes, Sunflower Oil (34%), and Salt. We’re off to a good start on that front, then.

There’s nothing of note in terms of package design, other than to say the logo is well recognised, and the colour coding - which appears to be an near industry standard - is useful.

The crisps are relatively thin, and though crunchy are not as ‘crisp’ as others on the market. The flavouring is also distinctly average, at least in terms of intensity. There also appears to be little consistency with the size of the crisps and packets tend to contain a higher number of broken crisps than other brands - due, no doubt, to the aforementioned thickness. I’ve never, however, had a bad packet of Walkers crisps. Foil packets appear to be the pinnacle of crisp technology.

For those interested in stats, I’ve decided to rate all the crisps I review with the following categories, and present the stats for Walkers Ready Salted to you below…

Crunch: 6/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 5/10
- Accuracy: 10/10 (Because you can’t really mess up a salt flavouring, can you?)
Quality: 7/10
Packaging: 7/10

All in all, not a bad packet of crisps, but nothing spectacular.