Crisp Review

Golden Wonder - Chip Shop Curry

I was looking for something festive to review this week. I could have looked harder, but I didn’t. So we’re stuck with something distinctly un-festive.

PICTURE FORTHCOMING (And I promise to get one on, this time).

I start the review with a question, this week. What is it with British attempts at ‘curry flavor’? Why do they always have a hint of raisin about them? I don’t think I’ve ever had a curry with raisins in… These crisps were no exception to that rule. But that’s not to say they tasted bad. Other than the slight hint of raisin, then, there’s a little bit of undefinable spice and a bit of salt. Tasty enough, but nothing too exciting.

The ingredients are plentiful, and include Onion Powder, Molasses Powder, Turmeric Powder, Liquorice Powder and Chilli Powder, none of which I could really taste.

I feel compelled, at this point, to dispute the packets assertion that these are “full on flavour crisps”

Beyond that, these are very yellow crisps. I wish I had a picture to show you. They’re not luminescent by any stretch of the imagination, but they were slightly startling. Which is good I guess, chip shop curry is always an odd colour, and always requires a second glance.

In terms of texture they’re typical Golden Wonder, quite thin, and crisp, rather than thick and crunchy. Pleasant enough, but not my favourite style.

The packaging is strange, and rather unappealing. Whilst brown and yellow capute the essence of chip shop curry, they’re not a fantastic combination. And the image on the pack is very much ‘old wallpaper’. All in all, very odd.

Crunch: 7/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 6/10
- Accuracy: 6/10
Quality: 7/10
Packaging: 5/10

Very much middle of the road.

Golden Wonder - Tangy Toms

More ‘untraditional’ goodness from Golden Wonder, in the shape of Tangy Toms. There’s little to say by way of introduction this week, so I’ll just dive straight in…

I think I’ll start with the ingredients here; Maize, Vegetable Oil and Tomato Flavouring. That’s Maize, not Potato, so we’ve not got a crisp here really, have we? Not that it matters, they’re sold alongside the crisps, which is good enough for me.

These Tangy Toms are little puffed balls of maize, with a pretty interesting texture. They’re crunchy, but then dissolve into all but nothingness, leaving a chewy residue behind. Pleasant enough, but nothing too fantastic.

The taste was pretty good, however! Sweet, but tangy; more similar to Tomato Ketchup than any tomato I’ve ever had. And they’re a rather moreish snack, no doubt the result of initial strong flavour.

The packing is mildly amusing, no idea why the Tomato on the front looks so angry. Unless, of course, he’s a representation of a Tangy Tom. If that’s the case he doesn’t look angry enough… And there are no wild claims here, just useful nutritional information on the back.

Crunch: 6/10
Flavour
- Intensity: 8/10
- Accuracy: 4/10 (Not really tomato)
Quality: 8/10 (Very uniform, but not exceptional)
Packaging: 7/10

All in all, a very middle of the road snack, but they’re definitely nice enough for the price. And it feels good to venture out of the Walkers ghetto every once in a while.

Royster’s - T-Bone Steak

Royster’s Crisps are a Golden Wonder product, and one that I’ve seen from time to time but never had. It seems I’ve been missing out on something quite fantastic.

So, the ingredients. We’ve got Dried Potato, Sunflower Oil, and Steak Flavour (with a wide range of constituent ingredients, including MSG). Dried Potato is a first for me - that is to say I’ve not noticed it on an ingredients list before - but I suppose it’s necessary for the interesting texture and shape of the crisps, which is, ultimately, what these are are all about.

They’re bubbled.

For god’s sake, someone’s managed to carbonate crisps. And it was an absolute stroke of genius. These are completely unique in terms of texture, not crinkle cut, not flat, and not like any crisps I’ve had before… The bubbles create a large surface area for the flavour to adhere to, and provide a nice level of crunch. Once the bubbles have broken - with a satisfying crunch - the crisps become sort of chewy and get in between your teeth in a strangely satisfying manner.

The flavour is pretty good, savoury, but with a hint of sweetness that just adds to the whole experience. It’s one dimensional, and far from exceptional, but the bubbled crisps really carry the whole thing.

The branding smacks of Americana, which is an obvious choice. Come one, who else but the Americans would carbonate crisps with a straight face? I mean, they’ve fried Cola, for crying out loud. And who else would flavour them with T-Bone steak? Sure, it’s all a little tacky, but it’s nice enough.

Numbers, Numbers, Numbers…

Crunch: 10/10 (These are unique)
Flavour
- Intensity: 7/10
- Accuracy: -/10 (As with the Bacon flavour earlier, I can’t comment on this with authority)
Quality: 6/10 (Lots of crumbs at the end of the packet, and some dramatic inconsistency in size)
Packaging: 8/10

Buy them. Buy them now.